Chevy – Quick Tribute

My pug Chevy (as in Chase, not car) likes to eat his own feces. I’m completely disgusted yet oddly fascinated by this at the same time. Why does shit taste so good to him? Does it taste like steak? If I pooped steak, would I share in this habit? I think I would…

Of course my wife & I are trying to put an end to this coprophagy (yes folks, there is a technical term for “dogs eating crap”). I’ve done my fair share of research – more than I’d like to spend my time doing. My favorite site so far is “20 Reasons Why Your Dog Eats Poop.” Twenty reasons? And I need to narrow this down to one or two reasons from this all-encompassing list? Thanks Interweb!

My wife & I have tried everything. Vigilantly scooping his deuces is a must. Taking him outside on a leash is also essential (we have a fenced-in backyard so we originally just let him roam free until it turned into poop paradise). We even tried some magical powder that came in little white packets & you were supposed to sprinkle ¼ of the packet into his food – but why, magical powder company, if you’re going the individual packet route, didn’t you just distribute the 1/4th measurement into said packets to save us all some headache? But that’s for another time…

The problem now is I think Chevy’s too deep into his addiction. It’s like crack now. I try to pull him away from it & he gives me a FUCK YOU look & just keeps going for it. Or maybe he gives me a shit-eating grin? [BA-DA-BOOM CHING!]

Right now he’s lying next to me. The fridge just buzzed, so this noise that he hears SEVERAL TIMES A DAY startles him & he barks. But this one is what I call his lazy man’s bark. The effort he puts into it is severely lacking because hey, he’s taking a nap. He follows it with a look at me that says DON’T JUDGE.

Sometimes, particularly in the summer, the neighborhood riff-raff lights fireworks late at night. Since our windows are of the highest quality, i.e. you could replace them with construction paper and get better protection from the outdoors, the BANG is loud. I either a) don’t wake up or b) sort of wake up, mumble something half asleep & roll over. So Chevy, I kind of understand the lazy man’s bark. And maybe, to an extent, I understand eating a nice steamy pile of feces if indeed it tastes like a rib-eye.

Holy crap – I have the perfect dog.

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One Response to “Chevy – Quick Tribute”

  1. TamRock Says:

    Holy crap, indeed.

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