This Post Voted #6 in WordPress’ Top 10 Blog Posts for 2011

[Update: I wish I could say I’ve just been lazy & that’s why no blog last week. It’s actually because I come home from a long day at work and unwind w/ some vacuuming. Good news: the fleas are out of the basement; bad news: fleas back upstairs (???) (!!!) (%@*$#). I think the theme song for my life right now is Nirvana’s “Rape Me.”]

I recently finished “I Drink for a Reason” by David Cross, a guy I find pretty gosh-darn funny even though most find him annoying, insulting, a combination of both, or just plain ASSHOLE. He has a bit in there about top ten lists, something I have struggled w/ for awhile now, so I’d like to piggyback on a few of his comments of frustration.

There’s been a Tipping Point epidemic in this country since the late ‘90s of lists. At first they were great – I was a big fan. It was a nice way of closing out the last century, even the millennium, summarizing the greatest hits of history in a convenient, concise list. You know what I’m talking about: Time magazine would publish the top 100 greatest novels of the twentieth century; VH1 would show the Top 100 greatest rock & rollers, where you’d hear Scott Ian from Anthrax talk about how much Bad Brains, Dizzy Gillespie, Chopin, & Air Supply influenced his music. The American Film Institute did their top 100 films and everyone was pissed because Citizen Kane got #1 and you’re like “what the hell is Citizen Kane? That’s a movie?”

[Citizen Kane sucks. I said it. Maybe because I’ve only seen it once & need to see it again. The “wow” moment at the end, Rosebud is a sled? BLOW ME.]

But then something happened where the media went on auto-pilot and started doing top 10 lists for everything, EVERY year, and the whole novelty of it lost its flavor. AFI branched out and did top 100 thrillers or romances or comedies, which became redundant because the same movies somehow made it to the top ten in all categories (I didn’t know The Godfather II was a comedy but I’m sure it made the list). You no longer cared who made it to #1 because you knew already, there’s gonna be some disappointment (AFI’s Top Comedy List – Tootsie at #1? Has anyone seen Police Academy IV: Citizens On Patrol?).

Plus, people’s opinions change over the years, so these lists have to reflect the times. Citizen Kane may have been hot ten years ago amongst critics, but since then a new batch has arrived & who knows, maybe they’ll really like Real Men starring Jim Belushi & John Ritter.

Having said all this (and not really going anywhere), here is my list of Top 10 Greatest Songs Featuring an Organ (subject to change):

10. 96 Tears – ? & The Mysterians: This song reminds me of being at a hockey game.

9. Radio Radio – Elvis Costello & the Attractions: This song’s the one from when he was on SNL in the late ‘70s, where he starts off playing one song, abruptly stops, starts playing this one, & was banned from the show for a looooong time. [Side note: I think Lorne Michaels, as a person… probably a prick. Just a hunch]

8. In Memory of Elizabeth Reed – Allman Bros.: You may need the following to fully appreciate & experience this song: one ounce of shrooms, a fifth of Jack Daniels, one severe case of head lice, & one full blown orgy including lots of women w/ au natural body hair.

7. I’ve Seen All Good People – Yes: Let’s face it, this list will have some prog-rock bands on here.

6. Joy – Apollo 100: Prominently featured in Boogie Nights.

5. So What’cha Want – Beastie Boys: See first 10 seconds.

4. Something by The Doors, preferably over 7 mins.

3. A Whiter Shade of Pale – Procol Harum: This song loses some points because it was also in The Big Chill.

2. Root Down – Jimmy Smith: Is this just because it was sampled on a Beastie Boys song of the same name? Possibly…

1. Green Onions – Booker T. & the MGs.: No comments needed.


One Response to “This Post Voted #6 in WordPress’ Top 10 Blog Posts for 2011”

  1. Tom Sales Says:

    Top things I found funny about this post: Your usage of the word “piggyback”, your reference to Police Academy IV, and your hidden reference to High Fidelity by mentioning The Big Chill in that context. And you’re gay.

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